No one but you can know what is best for you. Conversely, you cannot know what is best for others. Our job is to be responsible for ourselves and determine what is best for us.
Phrases like; “I know exactly what you need.”, “I know what you should do.”, “I have the answer for you.”, “I don’t think you should do this.”, “This is what you should be working on, focusing on, or pursuing right now.” are bold and presumptuous, not to mention disrespectful. We all want to be helpful when someone is going through something or trying to figure out something in their lives, and we often utter the phrases mentioned above. Or we hear those phrases from well-meaning individuals. For myself, and I am sure I am not alone on this one, those phrases send a red flag up, and often get my hackles up. On the other side of the coin, I am sure I have uttered those phrases myself when a friend is in distress. We each have the ability to discern our path and way forward. It is not always easy, and while a part of us loves to garner advice from others in the form of those phrases, it is a great disservice.
Life will offer struggles that require effort on our part to figure out how to move forward. At those times, we are being asked to go within, rest in the quiet still place of discovery, that place of right knowing, right understanding, and right action. It is not the quick fix; it often takes time to understand exactly how we want to proceed. Not always will we choose the correct course of action and that will lead us right back to square one, having to figure it out again. Having someone provide their belief of what we should be doing is the easy way out, and will not be as satisfying or fulfilling.
We should never expect or trust that someone else, be they a friend, relative, coach, or counsellor will know what is best for us. It is not their responsibility to direct our journey or find the path for us. We can, however, listen to all they have to say, then consciously sift through the information and sort it out by going within and weighing the merits of that information. Does it feel best for us? Does part of it make sense while other parts sound like a bunch of hooey?
It is not our job to advise, educate, plot, plan or make decisions with regards to another’s journey through life. What we can offer is a listening ear, and encouraging words to support them while they figure it out. Honour and respect that they have their own internal guidance system, and help them to trust that wisdom. Remember what is right for them, will not always be right for you.
Do you trust that you can make your own decisions for your highest good? It takes a bit of practice to understand how you access your inner guidance and wisdom, and the first step is to believe that you have this capacity within you. Perhaps you relied on that wisdom and it did not turn out how you expected it would, and now you shy away from trusting yourself. However, reflect on that time and see what you did learn from the experience. It might not have turned out as planned, but you probably gained knowledge you did not have before. Take time for journaling, often what happens when we journal is we start off writing what is front and centre in our life but eventually what is hidden just below the surface comes bubbling up to the top. The surprising fact is that all that surrounds the issue comes out, and from that, solutions arrive quickly. Lastly be ok with stillness and silence. Just allow every thought to flow as it wishes, and know that no matter what is going on in your life, you will figure it out. It is best to take some time and do what is for your highest good.
Each of us discovers what is in our best interest and highest good by trial and error – living life. We will all take wrong turns, make mistakes, and stumble, but each time we will gather knowledge that will last throughout our lifetime, and by living life with all the joys and pitfalls, we give ourselves the greatest gift of embracing life.
Copyright (c) 2017 by Marlene Cobb. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link to www.merrlina.com . All other uses are strictly prohibited.