To my way of seeing transitions in life, there are three types or categories, the natural transitions, the transitions unwillingly imposed upon us, and that the ones that we initiate for our betterment. In our life time, we will go through many, some will be lighthearted, others will be disconcerting, and still others will push us to our very limits.
A natural transition is one that sees us moving onto the next phase in life, such as, birthdays, graduating from elementary to high school, to university, etc.  Unwillingly imposed upon us transitions can be changes that we don't see coming, loss of a job, divorce, death of a loved one, and loss of personal belongings (with the wildfires in our province right now, the loss of homes, etc.). Transitions we initiate include getting married, having a baby, new homes, and career changes.
Of course, any of the examples given above can be seen in any of the categories depending on how you feel about them. Any transition in our lives can leave us feeling anxious. In fact, during any change in our life, we can run a whole gambit of emotions, often in the space of a minute.  Transitions can be exhausting, draining us not only on an emotional level but a mental and physical level as well.
Like I said, transitions are a part of our lives, ready or not. Whatever the circumstances, navigating them can be difficult, so how can we best survive and thrive during these times?
First off, expect that you are going to be feeling many emotions, and chances are others around you will be feeling those same feelings.  Most transitions pull us out of our comfort zones, which allows our imaginations to run wild. It is natural to worry about our future and be uncertain. Be gentle with yourself and others. Even if you initiated the change, chances are you are going to be thrown for a loop. Whenever we are leaving something behind we experience a period of grief.  Accept whatever you are experiencing emotionally as a natural progression to seeing you through this phase.  By accepting what is, you open to gracefully moving forward.
Don't get hung up on the past.  You must acknowledge your loss, but pining for what can no longer be is not going to help you. The adage "when one door closes, another one opens" can be helpful to remind you that while we don't always know why something is happening it can often lead to better things.  My personal favourite is knowing that when space is freed up in my life, something always comes along to fill it.
Look at it as an opportunity.  Look for the silver lining. You might not be able to see it right away but if you stay confident, something will show itself. Even in your darkest moments, and please don't try to shove them under some proverbial rug, try to see something positive.
Get support.  Don't try to go it on your own. Even though you probably feel like being a hermit, allow others to help you.  Support can be a friendly ear, a hug, shared laughter, and even a different opinion.  Chances are they have gone through something similar and know what you are experiencing.
Realize that transitions can happen quickly, or they can take time, but no matter what, they will conclude. Then, when it is all said and done, you might feel empty. Life can seem suspended, with a "now what" feeling that has no immediate answers.  Part of this emptiness is attributed to putting all our eggs in one basket; we don't see past "the event", we focus solely on what is happening.  It is common to have a period of "floating," as our adrenaline levels come back to normal. It bothers us to have this sense of emptiness as we are active beings, we feel best when we have something to be doing.  Something to work towards, call it an innate need to be vigorously pursuing a goal. However, the quiet after the storm is just what we need between transitions.  Use this period as a time of relaxation that prepares you for whatever reveals itself next.
In life, all comfort zones eventually come to an end as we evolve more and more into our true selves.  Life in general never allows you to get too comfortable. Just when you think you have it figured out, along comes something that challenges your thoughts, beliefs and actions. If we learn to channel our anxiety around change into productive energy, it will help propel us into the next stage of growth and discovery. It requires that we trust in our abilities and capabilities to handle whatever life serves us so that we give into rather than fight the transitions.
Transitions usually bring about a positive change in our life.  We might take years to understand why something happened. However, in life, everything is connected.  One step leads to the next, and with each step we become our best selves.  Next time you feel the anxiety of change about to control your life, pause, take a deep breath, and know within your heart this too shall pass and you will come out the other side better and stronger than you are right now!
​Copyright (c) 2017 by Marlene Cobb. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link to www.merrlina.com . All other uses are strictly prohibited.

​No one but you can know what is best for you.  Conversely, you cannot know what is best for others.  Our job is to be responsible for ourselves and determine what is best for us.
Phrases like; “I know exactly what you need.”, “I know what you should do.”, “I have the answer for you.”, “I don’t think you should do this.”, “This is what you should be working on, focusing on, or pursuing right now.” are bold and presumptuous, not to mention disrespectful. We all want to be helpful when someone is going through something or trying to figure out something in their lives, and we often utter the phrases mentioned above.  Or we hear those phrases from well-meaning individuals.  For myself, and I am sure I am not alone on this one, those phrases send a red flag up, and often get my hackles up.  On the other side of the coin, I am sure I have uttered those phrases myself when a friend is in distress.  We each have the ability to discern our path and way forward.  It is not always easy, and while a part of us loves to garner advice from others in the form of those phrases, it is a great disservice. 
Life will offer struggles that require effort on our part to figure out how to move forward.  At those times, we are being asked to go within, rest in the quiet still place of discovery, that place of right knowing, right understanding, and right action.  It is not the quick fix; it often takes time to understand exactly how we want to proceed. Not always will we choose the correct course of action and that will lead us right back to square one, having to figure it out again.  Having someone provide their belief of what we should be doing is the easy way out, and will not be as satisfying or fulfilling.  
We should never expect or trust that someone else, be they a friend, relative, coach, or counsellor will know what is best for us.  It is not their responsibility to direct our journey or find the path for us.  We can, however, listen to all they have to say, then consciously sift through the information and sort it out by going within and weighing the merits of that information. Does it feel best for us?  Does part of it make sense while other parts sound like a bunch of hooey? 
It is not our job to advise, educate, plot, plan or make decisions with regards to another’s journey through life. What we can offer is a listening ear, and encouraging words to support them while they figure it out. Honour and respect that they have their own internal guidance system, and help them to trust that wisdom. Remember what is right for them, will not always be right for you.  
Do you trust that you can make your own decisions for your highest good?  It takes a bit of practice to understand how you access your inner guidance and wisdom, and the first step is to believe that you have this capacity within you.  Perhaps you relied on that wisdom and it did not turn out how you expected it would, and now you shy away from trusting yourself.  However, reflect on that time and see what you did learn from the experience.  It might not have turned out as planned, but you probably gained knowledge you did not have before. Take time for journaling, often what happens when we journal is we start off writing what is front and centre in our life but eventually what is hidden just below the surface comes bubbling up to the top.  The surprising fact is that all that surrounds the issue comes out, and from that, solutions arrive quickly. Lastly be ok with stillness and silence. Just allow every thought to flow as it wishes, and know that no matter what is going on in your life, you will figure it out.  It is best to take some time and do what is for your highest good.  
Each of us discovers what is in our best interest and highest good by trial and error – living life. We will all take wrong turns, make mistakes, and stumble, but each time we will gather knowledge that will last throughout our lifetime, and by living life with all the joys and pitfalls, we give ourselves the greatest gift of embracing life.

​Copyright (c) 2017 by Marlene Cobb. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link to www.merrlina.com . All other uses are strictly prohibited.

​In May one evening while watching TV, we heard a quiet knock at our door.  My husband answered the door, and in the hall was a young lady who said she was lost.  I wanted to turn a blind eye and send her on her way. However, that was not to be.  The side of me that aligns with spirit, overthrew my human side that heads to the side of fear and uncertainty first and logic second.  After speaking with the girl while my husband tried to find out where she belonged in our building, I discovered that she was lost on many levels.  Beneath the confusion was, a bright young lady whose future was yet to be written. 
​
Our society has done a disservice to those who experience bouts of uncertainty. We label people as having mental health issues, but don’t offer any advice on how to help those who feel lost in that dark realm. While it is talked about more now than years gone by, we still have this fear around it.  Both in being labelled with the disease and with coming into contact with people who are dealing with it. 

I sat with this girl and struggled with my internal thoughts as to how I could help her.  I wanted to help; I wanted to have the answer to exactly what one does when someone is asking for help.  I kept telling her she was safe, that was all I could muster while thoughts of “what if we don’t find her home” floated through.  The truth was, she had been taken to the hospital earlier in the day by the police, who incidentally still had her belongs – which meant her keys to access her home.  The hospital after doing their assessment sent her home by taxi.  Yes, you read that correctly, they ordered and paid (I assume as she did not have her belongings) for the taxi to deliver her to the address she supplied. This was not the first time I had heard of this happening, and while I understand that our hospitals are overflowing this girl was still in a state of confusion and should not have been left to her own devices.

I have said for years that we have a large mental health problem in our country, and I am sure it is not just our country, others face the same problem.  It has been shoved under the rug for so long, with those in power pointing fingers to the next person saying responsibility lies with them to fix or heal the issue.  Not just with mental health, but other problems as well, such as, housing, health, jobs, environment, transportation, and the list goes on. At a more personal level, most of us look the other way, believing that we cannot help or make a difference. The reality is we don’t know how to help or what we can do that will make a difference.  We have not been educated, and rather than reach out, we turn away, until it happens to us or affects us in some capacity, that is.

I would like to think that we, made a difference the other night.  That by offering her a place to sit, something to drink, and help to get her into her apartment, she had a better moment than the ones that lead up to her situation.  That the words of comfort and wisdom I offered would leave an imprint on her mind and she would know she was worthy. 

Even if I felt my sacred space infringed upon, I am glad we opened our hearts and our home.  I wish there were advertisements plastered everywhere about how to help those in distress, outnumbering those beseeching us to buy products.  Sadly, there are not.  Thanks to a major player, we do get one day a year to “talk”, but that is not enough.

Interesting how the universe works, the next night we watched a program on TV which featured a young man who after surviving, barely, a serious auto accident, has made it his mission to travel the country speaking to at-risk youth.  He has a rock band and speaks to youth at their level; he too contemplated suicide during and after recovery, he wondered why he was here.  I would say he figured it out. It filled me with so much hope and joy, that I could feel his love and compassion through the screen.  He makes an impact on the youth he speaks with and does turn lives around.  

I don’t know where our world is heading; each year seems to bring about issues that, while around when I was growing up, have grown as well and are no longer contained to small numbers, but are now threatening to overpower our population. I do know that somehow each of us needs to step up to the plate and do what we can. How that looks, I don’t honestly have the answer.  Perhaps, it looks exactly like the other night when we answered our door.  Perhaps it is that simple.

I found this poem, written in the 1970s by James Patrick Kinney called “The Cold Within” while surfing the net.  It hit home; perhaps we have not arrived at the state of “we are one.” I would like to think we have made great strides to achieving this end, but realize we have more work to be done.

“Six humans trapped by happenstance,
In black and bitter cold.
Each one possessed a stick of wood,
Or so the story’s told.
Their dying fire in need of logs,
The first woman held hers back.
For on the faces around the fire,
She noticed one was black.
The next man looking ‘cross the way,
Saw one not of his church,
And couldn’t bring himself to give,
The fire his stick of birch.
The third one sat in tattered clothes;
He gave his coat a hitch.
Why should his log be put to use,
To warm the idle rich?
The rich man just sat back and thought,
Of the wealth he had in store,
And how to keep what he had earned,
From the lazy, shiftless poor.
The black man’s face bespoke revenge,
As the fire passed from his sight,
For all he saw in his stick of wood,
Was a chance to spite the white.
And the last man of this forlorn group,
Did naught, except for gain.
Giving only to those who gave,
Was how he played the game.
The logs held tight in death’s still hands
Was proof of human sin.
They didn’t die from the cold without
They died from the cold within.”

Copyright (c) 2017 by Marlene Cobb. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link to www.merrlina.com . All other uses are strictly prohibited.

​The earth is shifting, and its vibrational frequency is increasing, and this is fueling our awakening. Great change is afoot.
If you have said yes to any of the above, or it has resonated with you on some level, you are probably wondering how to navigate this awakening.  You might have even figured some things out already.  It is easier than anyone thinks.
During this awakening process, the more you can step out of ego thinking and into heart soul feeling, the better.  It is about going within, meditation is essential right now, and yes, I keep hearing “I am bad at meditating”, “I can’t meditate” yet you can, and probably are better at it than you think.  Shift your perception and toss out everything you have learned about meditation if you are struggling with it.  All that is required is for you to be relatively still. Your mind is not going to be quiet; we just want it to stop flinging all the daily crap at you.  When you can quiet the ego voice and all the daily chatter, the inner you awakens and can speak beautiful prescriptions to you.  They might be as simple as a word, that sparks something within you.  You will know when your inner voice is speaking by how wonderful it leaves you feeling.
Accept whatever emotion or physical feeling you are experiencing.  Don’t get all wrapped up in it. Know that eventually it will pass and the more you focus on it, the longer it will last.  If you are experiencing physical symptoms, please seek professional attention and follow the advice. 
Get off the hamster wheel. Yes, we all have a million tasks to complete before noon it seems, this leads to finishing things just to get them over and done with and off the list.  We start at A and rush until we arrive at B, then move onto the next task that requires our attention. We are in autopilot mode, and autopilot is so programmed, that there is no hope to shift it unless we slow down and pay attention to the process. Notice what you are doing in each moment.  Once you bring your awareness, you can begin renewing the old energy, old paradigms, and old processes.  Often our autopilot is not the fastest process or procedure, so don’t get stuck in the familiarity rut.  Be open and willing to look at how you accomplish things and shift them if necessary.
Lastly, and perhaps I should have put this first, let go of all you think you know. Be prepared to feel like you are blowing in the wind, lost, but know the energy guides you.  You will land exactly where you are meant to be.  The new energy supports ease, and the more you can stop resisting it, the more it will support you. It is a relearning, but I promise you it is easier now than it has ever been. 
Take care of you, slow down, accept yourself completely (warts and all). Understand that you are creating a beautiful new life within your current life, free will still plays a role and you are free to choose. This shift truly is an inside job, you are the master creator, and as such must follow your inner compass.  If it feels right, you are on the correct path.  Have faith in yourself, trust, and be the love you wish to see.

Copyright (c) 2017 by Marlene Cobb. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link to www.merrlina.com . All other uses are strictly prohibited.

Since the beginning of the year, we have been asked to love ourselves, to work on being more loving to ourselves by many authors.  I am sure that most of us would think “I do love myself!” followed quickly by the thought “isn’t self-love selfishness, conceited or narcissistic?” The concept of self-love can be a double-edged sword. It should not be sullied by selfishness, conceit, nor pushed aside because self-love is vital for our health and happiness. We should be striving to love ourselves as much as we love our pets or children. No conditions placed upon it, and no limits.
The very basis of self-love ensures that we are capable of unconditionally loving others and receiving unconditional love from others. Self-love is not about self-actualizing, but rather benefiting all of humanity. 
We are raised with the notion that love has everything to do with how we express ourselves towards others. And in turn how others express themselves towards us. Never was it brought forth to us about how we expressed ourselves towards ourselves. It meant that it was ok to have harming self-dialogue, no one bats an eye around that. It might explain why as a society we started to seek love through material items, and external relationships. We seek out better jobs, better bodies, better vehicles, better homes, better vacations, better clothes, all for the sake of attempting to fill a void that never quite gets satisfied. It is a continuous circle of thinking life will be better just as soon as I get_____. 
When we fall in love with someone, we enjoy this incredible rush, you all know what I am talking about. If someone could bottle that feeling and sell it, they would be very wealthy! You might think that this has everything to do with the other person, but it does not. They contribute to that feeling, however, the more we love ourselves, the more we can accept someone else’s love.  We are experiencing our love reflected back to us.
We devote a lot of energy to making relationships work. More often than not we compromise or sacrifice something to ensure the other person feels good and also to gain their adoration. Moments creep in where we get upset with the other person for not reciprocating, well, to your eyes. We want them to make us feel good about ourselves. Placing the responsibility on them to make us happy, content, and even worthy.   Sacrificing in exchange for love is learned at a very early age.
Our ego gives us a false sense of being loved by convincing us that the more we do, the more we are loved, and also that the more someone does for us, the more they love us.
Given the number of people, who on any given day, are searching for love because their relationships fail, leads me to believe that we all need to start understanding just how important self-love is. How many people are in counselling because they feel unloved?  How much anger is there in the world because people are waiting for love and not receiving it?
Love is not outside of you.  It is what you are.  It is about self-worth and creativity, and it is unconditional.  Humans place labels and conditions around what love requires.  The expression of love takes many forms and cannot be given to you from another person unless you have the capacity to allow it in. You have to love yourself to accept what others offer you. They can reflect love to you. However, it is still your love that you are experiencing.  Hence why each person experiences love differently.  Unconditional love does not mean, contrary to popular belief; that you are willing to do anything for another. It means that you want what is best for everyone involved, including yourself.
By committing yourself to doing what is most loving for you, you bring harmony to all areas of your life. It means being present, not abandoning yourself, and understanding that the one person who can make you feel whole and happy is yourself.  The more you can accept/embrace the totality of who you are – embracing all of your moods even if you don’t like the characteristics presented – you expand your capacity for love. Our emotions get triggered without much thought from us. We cannot help whether we feel angry or loving, and certainly, we can’t control other people and their perceptions, but we can accept them for what they are.
When you are no longer seeking love from outside sources, you will discover you are happy to be you.  You will not seek out others to fill voids because there will not be any to fill.  Our world today needs people who are secure in themselves. When we fully love ourselves, we no longer desire to give our power away to others.  We can stand up against anything and join with others to have our voices heard. 
So how exactly do we work on loving ourselves?  In the words of Elizabeth Gilbert “Accept the glorious mess you are.” That is where you start. Every single aspect, and appreciate the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Be nice to others but first to yourself – improve your self-talk and quiet your inner critic. Speak your truth, decline invitations, even if that means upsetting someone.  If you lie to others, you are lying to yourself.
Understand where you are placing your energy, on all levels, emotional, mental and physical.  Do they bring your joy?  If not look to change them up.
Don't do something just because someone tells you to.  Do you want to do it?  Good, then do it, otherwise, say no.  Don't wait to do what you want to do, just go for it.  If you continually wait for others to do things with, you will end up with a life full of regrets.
Stop comparing – appreciate what you have – life is not going to be perfect there will always be something to deal with, live your life the best you can and forget about what others are doing.
Be discerning.  Listen more to your gut, your intuition and less to your ego, brain.  If you get a bad vibe chances are you are getting it for a reason.  Don't think you can change or mold something into something it is not.  You can only change yourself.  Same goes for sharing your dreams, desires, listen to your gut before you share. Not everyone will have your best interest at heart and would just as soon cut you down.
Meditation – even if you believe you can’t meditate, take time each day for quiet, peace comes from within and meditating helps bypass fears and touches the source of our true selves.
Make friends with yourself, heck fall in love with yourself. Keep in mind that self-love is not arrogance or grandiose thinking you are superior to others. It is simple, quiet and non-judging. Realize that the art of self-love cannot be mastered overnight, nor will it happen in a month or year, it is a lifelong commitment.  Life is such that others, ourselves or even life events will continue to present opportunities for growth, and self-love is not immune to experiencing those lessons. 
 
Copyright (c) 2017 by Marlene Cobb. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author’s name and a working link to http://www.merrlina.com All other uses are strictly prohibited.

​Knowing that things are beyond your control and not stressing or worrying about them can be tough. Right now, many of us are experiencing polarities.  At the simplest level, we can look at polarities as being feelings.  There are only ever two basic feelings we experience, good or bad.  All states of emotion are simply an expression of these two basic feelings.  I have spoken of this before, yet in the context of polarities, it brings it home.  People are either bobbing along thinking life is grand or filled with doom and gloom.    With so much going on around us, and the media access we have to all news (true or false) it can be difficult to disengage.  Yet, we need to disengage to a degree to figure out what our stance is and to not be sucked in by all the “media” and opinions of others coming our way.  In essence, we need to be disengaged to think for ourselves and figure out what is within our control. 
Every day we experience duality in and around ourselves.  It is not by chance or accident; it is done by creation.  Either we are creating, or someone around us is creating a vortex if you will, that we are being sucked into.  As we are all one, there is no separation.  There is no hot without cold, no light without dark, no good without bad, and on it goes.  When something comes into our awareness, it wants to be known, and it brings to us the manifestation of knowing ourselves deeper.  If we look at the polarities being presented, 9 times out of 10, it is not happening to us personally.  They are there to bring into our awareness what we believe.  That is what is at the heart of polarity.  Our truth vs. someone else’s truth.  To each individual, one of the polarities is an illusion; the other is fact. 
What you perceive as bad, another perceives as good.  It is not your job is to point it out.  That usually starts an argument that neither side wins.  Instead, one can choose to simply examine the polarity being presented and allow your emotions to surface.  The emotions will tell you exactly where you stand, your truth in the situation.  You don’t need to do anything about it except accept it, own it and continue your path. 
During the coming months, you will have many opportunities to realise what is truth to you and what are illusions.  Always come home to a place of balance within yourself.  What is your truth, question it, is it truth that you own or something that you picked up years ago that does not resonate with you now?  How does it make you feel?  Are you content with those feelings? 
We are being offered a chance to understand ourselves better.  During the next while, many will be coming to terms with exactly what their truth is. It might not be pretty, but it is necessary.  It is a time of becoming more aware of who you truly are. You can choose to bury your head in the sand, and not take a serious look at the polarities offered you or, and I am strongly suggesting this course of action, use the polarities to step up into your life.   Use all that comes about to investigate, discover what makes you tick, and discern what you have control over in your life.  Most of all strive to come from a place of joy, compassion and understanding not only with others but with yourself. 
Expect things to intensify.  Both the light and the dark, for lack of a better way to state it.  What you perceive as bad will intensify but also what you perceive as good will intensify.  There is always balance during an upheaval to bring about change. All these polarities are bringing about change.  Expect your perspective to start shifting. You might start changing how much you hang out with certain people even family members.  You might want to stay silent and to yourself.  It is important during this time to honour yourself by listening to what your body, mind and spirit want. Stay balanced so that you may anchor the light.  That is all.  Do everything from a place of love, experience joy in what you do, and you will be balanced. 
The time we are living in is indeed spectacular. All of us are on a collective journey as well as a personal one. There are many more harmonies happening than negatives. People are uniting together, realising we are all in this together. We are in a time of history that will be talked about for generations to come, and to think we get to be part of this. I think of all of us as sentinels, standing guard for those that will come after us. We are the catalysts who started this by wanting something better.   Remember that,  we created the polarities happening now by our desire for something better.  Others want something better too, we are all striving for the same thing, just from different perspectives of truth.
As difficult as it may be, know that it is detrimental to your health and wellbeing to worry and stress about that which you have no control over.  Instead, focus on what you do have control over, how you participate in the polarities being presented.
​
Copyright (c) 2017 by Marlene Cobb. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author’s name and a working link to http://www.merrlina.com All other uses are strictly prohibited.

​As I await the return of Spring with its riot of colour and warmer weather I came across the tale of Persephone.  While some would view the legend and myth of Persephone as a dark one, I find it to be interesting and appropriate for this time of year. It is a story filled with passion, deep love, and balance between light and dark. It also shows the cycle of life - birth, death, rebirth and our perception of good and evil. If you are not familiar with this Greek Goddess she was the daughter of Zeus; sky and thunder god, and Demeter; harvest and agriculture goddess.
With some creative license, here is the story of Persephone;
Hades, God of the Underworld was all but invisible to his fellow Gods who resided in the upper realms.  Olympus was where it was at, and Hades for all intents and purpose the forgotten one below. Leading to a lonely life which had him going to the land of the living, if only to see others and have some semblance of normalcy.  Upon seeing Persephone in the woods one spring morning, Hades was intrigued by her beauty. As he was the dark God of the underworld he decided that nothing as fair and beautiful as this maiden would give him the time of day.  Quietly, so as not to disturb Persephone and draw attention to himself, he crept away but promised himself he would return to this spot often in the hopes of seeing her again.  For many moons Hades watched Persephone from afar, enthralled by her beauty, warmth and kindness. One day while he was slipping away a branch snapped under his step, causing Persephone to call out “who is there?” Hades quickened his step. However, Persephone called out to him “Wait don’t run away, I would at least know your name.” Not turning towards her he said, “My name is Hades.”  “Hello Hades, my name is Persephone.” She replied, “please turn around so I may see you.” Slowly Hades turned towards her, expecting Persephone to run off screaming. However, her reaction surprises him; she is more curious than alarmed.  They agreed to meet at that very spot each morning, and their friendship blossomed.  Hades beseeches Zeus to allow him to bring Persephone to his world to ease his loneliness and Zeus agrees. Hades brings her to his world, and once there gifts her with a pomegranate, of which Persephone finds delicious and proceeds to feast upon the arils.
Meanwhile, Demeter distraught that her daughter has not returned home from her daily walk, roams the earth searching for her. Her grief becomes more intense as the days’ pass causing the earth she walks upon to become barren from her tears.  Nothing grows, all is in a suspended state. The Gods soon realise that without crops, humans will not be able to survive and decided they should intervene. After all what good is it being a God if you have no followers. Zeus seeing the error in his ways decides to send Mercury; the messenger God, to persuade Hades to allow Persephone to return. Persephone could not return however because she had eaten the seeds of the pomegranate.  After some negotiations, and because Hades so loved Persephone, it was decided Persephone would reside with Hades for 1/3 of the year and return to earth for the remaining 2/3's to spend it with her mother. Persephone’s time with Hades is known as winter. Demeter misses her daughter so much she allows nothing to grow until her return in Spring.
I love the Persephone myth, which, like all myths holds some truths, if only marginally.  I understand we can perceive whatever we wish into all the myths from long ago. However, if one takes the time to read them, they can’t help but realise how our modern times still acknowledge these tales. 
Here we have Hades, LORD of the Underworld, a GOD, yet unseen by his peers – they know he is there. I wonder if it is the out of sight out of mind theory.  We are talking about Gods here, so I am not sure. Today many people go unseen by many of us, and each person who does not see them has their reasons.   Hades personifies the ignoring of our shadows, our secrets, things that we hide from others so as not to be seen, acknowledged, or spoken of by others. This also speaks of how we ignore those who don’t align with our beliefs or because of fear.  This is where we perceive good and evil; if we believe something to be evil we avoid.
Demeter speaks of the depth of love we share with those around us.  I know of no mother today who would not grieve as passionately as Demeter did when she could not find her daughter.  It does not matter if the child is male or female, a mother’s love knows no bounds.  All of us – male and female – have the capacity to love deeply.  When a loss is experienced, we all grieve deeply, and our lives become barren during our grieving.  The story of Persephone sees her reunited with her mother, the light at the end of the tunnel.  There is balance in the “story” of life; all things return to the earth; plants go dormant in the winter and are renewed in the spring.  Humans and animals are borne, live and then experience death, which speaks or should, to all of us to live fully.  While we can’t be reunited, per se, with loved ones when they die, our grief eventually becomes less, and colour returns to our life.  I believe that we will be reunited with our loved ones when it is our time to go, and I also believe they never truly leave us, they are part of our unseen.
Persephone personifies radiance, warmth, love, beauty, and life. She brings light to the shadows – Hades – rebirth occurs.  Hade's life, for part of the year, is a little brighter by her presence.  She brought life and beauty to his world.  He in return brings her to the darkness – equal balance between light and dark. Think Yin and Yang. Balance also occurred in the upper world, (as above, so below) love has transformative powers and perhaps Persephone’s message to all of us is to journey within to our shadows.  Bring our light, radiance, warmth, and love to our shadow self, then healing or accepting it as part of what makes us whole.
Winter is the best time to have this inner reflection, we typically slow down, stay indoors more, seeking comfort and warmth. Think of it as going to the underworld, explore the deep dark caverns hidden away from not only the world but perhaps yourself.  Where can you bring about changes, so you don't have to cover up these beautiful aspects of yourself from the world? Do not make this a journey of self-battery, rather acknowledge they belong to you, every single shadow aspect makes you unique, whole and real. Rebirth yourself with the coming Spring.  Refresh and recharge yourself with the last breaths of Winter so that you feel renewed, ready to welcome life with open arms. Confident in yourself, your whole self, and accepting of each person's struggle with their shadows.  Be the light that shines the way, like Persephone to Hade's, so that others may see their radiance in you.

Copyright (c) 2017 by Marlene Cobb. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author’s name and a working link to http://www.merrlina.com All other uses are strictly prohibited.

​Have you ever given much thought to how you come across to others or how you are perceived by others? How your experiences effect or alter the lives of others?  How they might internalize your experiences and then see you as your experiences?  
Personally, I always try to be very conscious of how I use my words to portray anything I tell others.  I do so in the hopes that I am sharing what I am going through without placing the person listening in a position whereby they feel they need to help me or fix anything.  I mean after all, whatever I am sharing is my experience, and not theirs to carry.  No matter what I am experiencing in my life, be it joy or sorrow, there is growth involved for me. Yet, in the moment of expressing myself, I am sure that it comes across differently to the ears that are listening. I suppose I could just chalk it up to being their experience of my experience, but it bothered me that I might be giving a false pretense.  What came to me was this. “You process and work on whatever is bothering you. If something disappoints you, hurts you, brings you great joy, etc. you deal with it, work on it and release it.  Essentially, you move beyond it. Yet the person who listened never hears that part unless you share.”
In the light of a few things lately I have contemplated not sharing my experiences with others.  Conversation would tend to be rather boring perhaps, but it might stave off their pity.  There is a fine line between empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, and pity – the feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the suffering and misfortunes of others.  Empathy is about supporting the other person while pity has us taking it personally and owning it.  At least for me that is what it boils down to.  It is subjective at best to figure out what empathy or compassion means to different people. Pity, however, has us feeling, and not the other person’s feelings, but our own. 
I have sat with this thought for a few days, I have been drilling down on it during quiet moments, how do I share my experiences with others so that I don’t evoke pity from them? How do we listen to whatever is going on in the world and have empathy rather than pity? 
Right now, in our world there is much suffering going on, yet to assume another is suffering can make matters worse.  What happens is, you start to see the other person as “less than,” which in some ways contributes to their suffering and can hold them as victims, instead of helping them to overcome their situation.  It means that when you pity someone you are not being the rock of support they need but rather are enabling them to stay in that state.  Chances are we are still carrying a feeling left by their plight, while they have moved onward and upward. 
Perhaps it comes down to looking at whatever plight the other person is going through and pondering how we would react, or resolve it, should we find ourselves in their shoes.  It might mean pausing and checking in with our feelings around what others are experiencing.  It might boil down to listening and knowing beyond a doubt they have this fully in hand and don’t need us to carry it as well. It is one thing to wallow in self-pity, but to be pitied leaves a bad taste in one’s whole being.  Maybe, this is all my perception, something that I need to work on, but to me being pitied indicates that I don’t have the courage, the wit, or the strength to deal with what is going on.  Worst though is that perhaps I pity others instead of having empathy, after all we are given a mirror in others to look at ourselves.
Bad things happen, that’s life, yet it is how we respond to what is happening that defines us.  Most of us pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and carry on, making the most of a bad situation and leaving it behind us.  I understand why we share our moments, both good and bad. It is part of processing our experiences and healing ourselves.  We need the connection of being listened to by another, to perhaps have someone reach out and tell us it will be ok. And it will be ok – I don’t care what you are going through, in the end it always becomes ok -maybe we are given a hug, and ultimately, we feel like we have a support team.  We want to feel like we are not alone, like we have someone to lean on when the going gets rough. 
Sharing our experiences with others can allow them to have growth as well.  Be sure to speak with integrity when sharing and try not to be the victim. Maybe that is the key between pity and empathy.  If someone shares their experience with you, no matter how it leaves you feeling, or what it brings up within you, let go of placing them in your pity.  If it brings up feelings within you, work on them and heal them within you, for it is then your experience. As for the friend, family member, or even the stranger on the street who openly shares, boost them with your empathy, and compassionately stand beside them offering support, fully knowing they can handle whatever has been brought to them. It will never not turn out ok, no matter the outcome, for each experience brings something to us.  We might not see the benefits right away but somewhere, somehow, they will show up and leave us feeling richer and blessed for having had them.
Namaste
Marlene Cobb
 
Copyright (c) 2017 by Marlene Cobb. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author’s name and a working link to http://www.merrlina.com All other uses are strictly prohibited.

​Here we go!  The last month of the year, and what a year it has been. I think 2016, even though it still has a few weeks to go, will go down in the history books as a tumultuous one. Much has happened on the global stage as well as within people’s personal lives. I am sure if you reflect on 2016 and what has transpired, you and many you know have gone through a year of events that have rocked your/their world.  Here we are at the end of the year, and many are cheering, glad that the year is almost over.  Ready to step out of the worn, tattered cloak and pull on a fresh robe. They are looking towards 2017 with the hope that there will be a brighter, healthier, and more financially secure year ahead.
 
2016 has left scars that will take time to heal. However, our greatest gifts and awareness come from our deepest wounds. It is in healing we gain wisdom and knowledge, so don ‘t be too quick to slough off 2016 and jump into 2017.  Ensure you allow time to heal the scars 2016 graced you with so that you will carry the wisdom earned into 2017.  Not all scars will heal before the new year begins but know that you cannot sweep them under the rug as you step into 2017 and ignore them.  They will need proper care and nurturing so that they don’t fester into issues that will cause bigger problems later.

December, for me, is always a joyful month.  One which tends to be filled with good friends, family, great meals shared with laughter and love, drinks shared around tables as we catch up or share views about what is transpiring in our lives. I find myself looking forward to the start of December this year, more so than other years, perhaps there is a small part of me who is seeking peace and calm.  As in “all is calm, all is bright.” I want to pull out the decorations, visit my favourite holiday locations, and share the magic of the season with those I love.  I also want to look back at the year to gain clarity on all that has changed.  I want to say goodbye while I dream about what I can achieve in the coming year. This truly is one of my most favourite times of the year. 
 
If this year has been extremely weird, chaotic, and life changing for you take heart, let your hair down a little, and allow yourself to be filled with joy. December is the month that is about extravagance. We over indulge in all the good things life has to offer.  We are filled with hope and excitement as we party on, saying goodbye to this year and hello to the next.
December is the 12th month which represents the completed cycle of experience. You should feel a sense of accomplishment this month even if it is just for having survived 2016.  It also adds up to three (1+2) giving us a nurturing energy that expresses itself with tenderness.  A sense of childlike wonder takes hold if our adult self can allow it, giving us illumination, abundance and good cheer.  We all can use some good cheer right about now so embrace that childlike wonder and fill your heart and soul to overflowing. Use this rich energy to dig deep and discover what is important to you.  Three also represents communication, and as we wind down the year, there is no better time to communicate honestly with yourself.  This is the part of self-discovery that takes you the extra mile. Lying to yourself only harms you and your growth. The gentle energy this month encourages you to express yourself openly and honestly, at least to yourself.
We typically add more to our already full plates this month and compound the stress we are already under.  Taking a slower, simpler approach to the holidays would benefit you.  Don’t strive for perfect, strive for a holiday that will live in your loved one’s hearts and minds for years to come. Buy less, laugh more. Here are three tips to help you survive the hectic season so that you step into 2017 refreshed and ready for the adventure to begin.
Awareness – Ask yourself “why am I doing this?” What are the payoffs? What are the costs? Chances are you don’t even like the fruit cake you are making. However, it has been ingrained in you that you must have one each year. Or you are doing it because someone asked you to.  Yet if the action leaves you with a feeling of dissatisfaction or anger, is it worth it?  Could you buy a fruit cake and save yourself some time and angst? By asking that one simple question, you can discover what is truly important to all.  Does the fruit cake recipient want a cake prepared in ho-hum gotta do this or worse anger?  No, one made with love would taste better. 
Action – Don’t react.  No matter what is going on, take some deep breaths and keep your emotions in check.  It does not matter if your children are hounding you for the latest and greatest toy that has caught their eye or your husband can’t find his clean socks which have been in the same drawer for 20 years.  Pause, and check your emotions.  If possible, delegate someone else to help ease the situation, perhaps your husband can divert the kid’s attention, or your children can help dad find his socks. This is good for all year and not just during the holidays.  We tend to react, and in doing so, our actions (reactions) are always the same. By stopping and consciously not reacting, you give yourself the freedom to respond, and usually in a different way that is not present in the reaction flash.
Maintenance – Look after yourself.  Self-maintenance is paramount during the festive season.  If you get run down, you will not enjoy the season, and will not be able to help others enjoy it. In this season of giving – give to yourself.  Indulge in simple pleasures that are catered just to you. A latte while out shopping, turning off the TV after the kids have been put to bed and spend some quality time with your mate, or grab that book you have been trying to read and indulge in a chapter or five. 
December is a month to be enjoyed. Gather as much joy and love in your heart that you can. Then, when January hits, typically a slower month that leaves us feeling let down, you will have memories to pull out and savour at will.
Namaste
Marlene Cobb
 
Copyright (c) 2016 by Marlene Cobb. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author’s name and a working link to http://www.merrlina.com All other uses are strictly prohibited.

​To experience empowerment, we must have a sense of self-worth and value, give voice to our needs, and give equal validity to them as we do to others'. When we don’t value our needs, resentment, anger, and blame can accumulate. There are many ways that we ignore our needs. It happens gradually over time, and mostly we are not aware that it is happening. We give freely to others; “others” could be our job, partner, children, friends, acquaintances, etc. From birth, we are taught to share, accommodate and take care of others first.  Basically, it is better to give than to receive, which over time can diminish our self-value.  Sometimes we “saint” ourselves, believing that we are doing so much good for those around us and the world.  It is important to give, it does make us feel good, but if we do so at the expense of ourselves, of our needs, we become unbalanced. Over time this builds up an accumulation of energetic, mental, emotional and physical gunk. 
While not fully understanding, what is happening, we see/feel that the energy is not flowing, and we want to do other things but don’t know where to focus our energy or where to begin. We push ourselves harder and do more for others all to gain that sense of fulfilment or self-worth.  Or we pull back from life in general and do less and less due to the belief we are not good enough, or we don’t make a difference.  Both leave us depleted.
To regain empowerment, and hence shift ourselves, we must first define the areas of our life where we feel disempowered.  From there we can discern how we can go about changing this.  No easy task. We are so entrenched we cannot see the forest for the trees, even if the tree landed squarely on us. To pinpoint one area that we could shift to see a difference in our lives, would be like finding the proverbial needle in a haystack.  We spend so much effort trying to figure out what the "problem" is - and who is "at fault," that we become lost in the search. We allow ourselves to think we are empowering ourselves by sifting through our minds trying to find the nugget that will bring resolution.
Eventually, if we are lucky, life and the universe step in and wave an invisible wand to save us from ourselves. Life as we know it starts imploding upon us. This process never feels good! In fact, we never see this as a blessing. It does not help us to feel like we are taking back our power either. It can feel like your heart has been ripped out and you are left empty and hollow. The chaos that ensues is however, a beautiful, necessary process which topples us onto our butt and dislodges the patterns we repeat so that we may see the truth in them.  When it is first happening, it is so raw that we cannot fathom how we will move forward. However, if left to our own devises, we would not shift enough to make a positive change.
Meltdowns, life crumbling, etc., all remove the glue that has us stuck so that we are no longer limited.   It identifies actions that empower movement. If we can allow our world to crumble in a positive agreement with the universe without going into fear mode, we can see the threads that brought us to this point.  If we can be honest with ourselves, we also see that we painstakingly wove each thread ourselves, probably since our birth.
If you feel like life is just not going your way, that you have no power over your life, that you are not empowered, take heart.  Nothing is lost – your self-worth, your value, your power – you still have every attribute, it is in how you utilise these attributes that bring about unbalance. Within the storm of chaos is the chance to begin balancing your life once again. Something must give to create balance; typically, it is our limiting beliefs, thoughts, and ways of being.  If asked, not one of us would be willing to release them.  However, when faced with them in the light of a new perspective, we can gladly let them go.
Trust the process. Have faith that you are at this point in your life for a reason.  Chances are you asked for a change.  You are an intelligent being. You recognised that there was more to life than how you were living, and on a conscious and subconscious level decided to start living it more fully.  Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself lots of time to process what the storm has dislodged in your life.  Face the chaos with courage and compassion.  Value yourself first, honour that you have needs, and start to focus on how to bring them into your life.  Know that somewhere along the line you have allowed yourself to give your power away to others. Empowering yourself takes back that power, and shows others that you value yourself as much as you value them.  Empowerment lets you know you are worthy of a balanced, fulfilled life that brings you joy.
Namaste
Marlene Cobb
 
Copyright (c) 2016 by Marlene Cobb. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author’s name and a working link to http://www.merrlina.com All other uses are strictly prohibited.