To experience empowerment, we must have a sense of self-worth and value, give voice to our needs, and give equal validity to them as we do to others'. When we don’t value our needs, resentment, anger, and blame can accumulate. There are many ways that we ignore our needs. It happens gradually over time, and mostly we are not aware that it is happening. We give freely to others; “others” could be our job, partner, children, friends, acquaintances, etc. From birth, we are taught to share, accommodate and take care of others first. Basically, it is better to give than to receive, which over time can diminish our self-value. Sometimes we “saint” ourselves, believing that we are doing so much good for those around us and the world. It is important to give, it does make us feel good, but if we do so at the expense of ourselves, of our needs, we become unbalanced. Over time this builds up an accumulation of energetic, mental, emotional and physical gunk.
While not fully understanding, what is happening, we see/feel that the energy is not flowing, and we want to do other things but don’t know where to focus our energy or where to begin. We push ourselves harder and do more for others all to gain that sense of fulfilment or self-worth. Or we pull back from life in general and do less and less due to the belief we are not good enough, or we don’t make a difference. Both leave us depleted.
To regain empowerment, and hence shift ourselves, we must first define the areas of our life where we feel disempowered. From there we can discern how we can go about changing this. No easy task. We are so entrenched we cannot see the forest for the trees, even if the tree landed squarely on us. To pinpoint one area that we could shift to see a difference in our lives, would be like finding the proverbial needle in a haystack. We spend so much effort trying to figure out what the "problem" is - and who is "at fault," that we become lost in the search. We allow ourselves to think we are empowering ourselves by sifting through our minds trying to find the nugget that will bring resolution.
Eventually, if we are lucky, life and the universe step in and wave an invisible wand to save us from ourselves. Life as we know it starts imploding upon us. This process never feels good! In fact, we never see this as a blessing. It does not help us to feel like we are taking back our power either. It can feel like your heart has been ripped out and you are left empty and hollow. The chaos that ensues is however, a beautiful, necessary process which topples us onto our butt and dislodges the patterns we repeat so that we may see the truth in them. When it is first happening, it is so raw that we cannot fathom how we will move forward. However, if left to our own devises, we would not shift enough to make a positive change.
Meltdowns, life crumbling, etc., all remove the glue that has us stuck so that we are no longer limited. It identifies actions that empower movement. If we can allow our world to crumble in a positive agreement with the universe without going into fear mode, we can see the threads that brought us to this point. If we can be honest with ourselves, we also see that we painstakingly wove each thread ourselves, probably since our birth.
If you feel like life is just not going your way, that you have no power over your life, that you are not empowered, take heart. Nothing is lost – your self-worth, your value, your power – you still have every attribute, it is in how you utilise these attributes that bring about unbalance. Within the storm of chaos is the chance to begin balancing your life once again. Something must give to create balance; typically, it is our limiting beliefs, thoughts, and ways of being. If asked, not one of us would be willing to release them. However, when faced with them in the light of a new perspective, we can gladly let them go.
Trust the process. Have faith that you are at this point in your life for a reason. Chances are you asked for a change. You are an intelligent being. You recognised that there was more to life than how you were living, and on a conscious and subconscious level decided to start living it more fully. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself lots of time to process what the storm has dislodged in your life. Face the chaos with courage and compassion. Value yourself first, honour that you have needs, and start to focus on how to bring them into your life. Know that somewhere along the line you have allowed yourself to give your power away to others. Empowering yourself takes back that power, and shows others that you value yourself as much as you value them. Empowerment lets you know you are worthy of a balanced, fulfilled life that brings you joy.
Copyright (c) 2016 by Marlene Cobb. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author’s name and a working link to http://www.merrlina.com All other uses are strictly prohibited.